Episode-14- TSP Rewind – Understanding the Problems vs the Symptoms — 2 Comments

  1. At about 21:00 you are talking about the system separating humans. Do you think that is “part” of why Putting old folks into nursing homes has become such a common thing to advocate?

    It feels like they stop servicing the needs of a generation after age sixty and start herding them toward isolation with strangers. Families are counseled to “put Mom or Dad in a home” where they can be taken care of and you can be free of the burden to work and raise your family. The sad thing is that people really do it, and seemingly with very little prodding from their “well meaning” doctors or the media, or whom ever the messenger is.

    • There are many reasons for this but chief among them is the two income family.

      When “mom went to work” she and dad largely had to outsource care of the kids. Kids grew up thinking this was normal so they outsource care of their parents. Additionally, we now have more two income families then ever.

      So moving Grandma or Grandpa in may seem to make sense. But generally this doesn’t happen until one of the pair dies. Many times by then the kids are gone so the grand parent doesn’t have a roll to fill “child care”, so they don’t “want to be a burden” so they go it alone.

      By the time Grandma/pa needs to go to their kids home, they need a LOT OF CARE, often to the level of changing diapers, etc. Even if the kids are willing they can’t do it. Mom and Dad despite having adult kids both still work 8 hours a day or more. Grandpa/ma needs 24 hour care.

      Even if they are okay 90% of the time on their own the 10% can be scary like a person with dementia trying to boil eggs or running down the street in a rage saying that a neighbor is pedophile because he had a dream and can’t discern the difference any longer.

      So what can the family do? Leaving their elder parent alone 10 hours a day allowing for commute is a danger to the parent and others. For instance the above are two things I personally experienced.

      My son also has a friend who was in the hospital for almost three months. How? An elderly man escaped his home about 2am in his car. He drove with no lights on at all on the wrong side of a highway and struck my son’s friend head on, of course this happened to fast for the young man to avoid it.

      So we have 50 somethings today who will still be working 30 years of more, they are tired, beaten down and they have a 80-90 year old parent in need of deep care. Even if they pay a care giver for the time they are at work, coming home after a day like that to a parent slowing dying and delusional is draining beyond words. And it will cost almost as much as full time care.

      I don’t think this is all part of the plan, the pricks that run our nation are pricks but they are not that big of a prick, this is just the results of generational removal of a mother from the household and the rise of “single moms” and treating them as heroes, etc.