Episode-1698- Listener Feedback for 12-21-15 — 23 Comments

  1. In regards to bullying, I wonder if part of it is lack of rights of passage or rituals for these children. In most tribes, girls and boys have certain rituals which welcome them to manhood (or womanhood). I think those things were really important for us primally. I know some religions have things like confirmation, but I went through all that and it didn’t seem to work for me.

    Another huge part, I think, is lack of purpose. Ancestrally speaking, children grew up around adults who were working (hunting, gathering, working the fields, caring for children etc) and they knew that they had a purpose. They had a job to do to contribute when they reached the appropriate age and already knew how to do it well when they reached that age. In our current society, we ship our kids off to prison school and then go sit at a desk for 8 hours and stare at a computer. They don’t have a sense of purpose really because they don’t see any meaningful work being done. I think this runs really deep and is a symptom of our shifting society.

    I really, really hope to see more school co-ops, homeschool permaculture groups, and alternative education spring up soon. I will be having children in a few years and I would love to do some of those things.

    • I agree we need something like a Rite of Passage in our society. I don’t think getting a drivers license should be it, the right to vote, or even the right to drink an alcoholic drink.
      I think whatever this Rite of passage is it needs to have a bases in skills of survival. If you ever get lost in the woods you should not have to be cold, hungry, or thirsty. Your skills should cover those until your are rescued or until you figure out where you are and can walk out to civilization. This should be an adventure to tell around a fire to others. Not an ordeal that you barely survived.

      • I totally agree. I knew a women who gave her 13 year old a little pouch for his birthday. It had matches, a knife, and some other cool survival things. If I have boys, I plan on implementing these kinds of things.

        I’d like to hear some other ideas of relevant, purposeful rites of passage, for girls and boys.

        • I think a Rite of Passage need to focus on the strengths of either a boy or girl. Their are many things that would work for both boys or girls. Everyone should have a survival pouch not just boys. The only diffence in this pouch would be anything that only a girls would need.

          I have watched may TV shows over the years. In a lot of old monster movies the girl usually falls down and stays there screaming her head off until a Man comes to her rescue. Now to day on “Lost” a woman ignored the men when they were going to meet the others. They basically said she had skills, but they wanted her to help protect the others while they were away. Because she ignored them she was captured which forced them to give up their weapons. She almost got them killed.

          As I see it men and women need to work together. If I am going to save you it would be nice if you made it easier not harder.
          A girl needs to know what her strengths are. She shouldn’t need a Man to save her, but if a time comes when her strength is not enough she should know when to ask for help. Also she should get out of the way until she can actually be of help.

          A Rite of passage for a girl can only be answered by Women. If a Man’s power is like a Big Hammer. Then Women need to be a small Very sharp knife. Both of these can kill, but if a woman is faster and more agile and clear headed she can still win a fight with a man. Yes a gun is a problem, but if a woman knows her strengths and keeps a clear head she can be ready for any opening to exploite to save her life.

          In fact a good time for a Rite of Passage would be when a girl becomes a woman. For this to mean something you will know the other times in a girls life that have meaning.

          Now for boys they need to know their strengths so they can protect, but also to stand back when a girl does not want their help. Boys need to learn to be ready to help when they are asked and when they MUST interfere to help someone.

  2. It’s pretty discouraging to be at the beginning of my life, standing in front massive opportunity, and to see the government further try to encroach on and seize the wealth of productive people. I could be a millionaire by the time I hit 30, really, but it seems like the government wants to make it impossible for me to hire anybody and be succesful.

    Not to mention the culture of crippled weakness the university system is programming into the rest of my generation.

    I guess the difference between succesful people and poor people is we look at all the obstacles and smile and figure out how to navigate the course.

    • I agree many people see a wall and promptly walk into it over and over. People need to learn their are other ways to defeat the wall. You can go around it,over it,under it, and if you still can’t do that you can use the proverbial TNT and blow a hole through the dam thing. Either way using your head to defeat the wall is better than bashing it into the wall repeatedly.

  3. Jack here is my take on Bullying. I think in a twisted way it is the bully showing he is strong. When a young child say in kindergarten is allowed to rough house it is a way for that child to learn skills in fighting. I think this play fighting is very important at this age because children this age DO NOT have the strength to do major damage to each other. Now when you look at a 16 year old boy he does have enough strength to do major damage while fighting.

    If you let children play fight you can have an older boy or an adult watch them play fight and help them become better . These elders can also channel this need to fight into a need to protect. You never know when your partner during play fighting may one day need you to help him if he is being attacked by an enemy with the intent to kill him. When you don’t tie fighting with defending the weak or helpless. The child could grow up to become a bully where the weak and helpless become his victims to show his strength.

    Even in the animal world you see this where the young will play fight. The adults would only interfere when things went to far. It is funny we train people to fight at an age where we are capable of inflicting major damage. Maybe we should let our children learn to fight when the damage they can do is minor. When children who play fight grow up they can be confident of their skill to defend family, friend, and village. Where many people may freeze like a deer in the headlights if attacked those who are confident in their abilities to fight will do what they can to stop the treat and help those in danger that can’t fight.

    • You know there is something to that! When I was a kid we always did this and it was done at recess in school all the time too. As long as it was clearly play no teachers said a word about it either.

      We also used to wrestle for real (no hitting, no kicking type) and the winner was who ever could pin the opponent. Shoulders flat to the ground.

      We played tackle football and really hammered each other. Sometimes people got hurt but minor stuff. Like you say this was when we were say sub 13 years old.

      As we got older we put in our own safety protocols. Like in foot ball no leading with the head (not a huge issue as we had no helmets) so we also had like no stiff arms to the face. Some of us by then were playing ball in school so we knew what could go wrong.

      Boys at least not that long ago had this “rite of passage” as @Stephanie mentioned above. Face it boys are aggressive and they need to learn to channel that aggression and control it.

      Makes me think of what happened when all the old male elephants were gone. Without the male patriarchs many young bulls took to killing people and other animals. As older bulls are now being restored this has become again not really an issue. They need the older males to shape them and keep them in line.

      With the number of broken homes and being a “single mom” now almost being considered hero status, you can see that issue as well. Boys need men in their lives that understand the aggression, make allowances for it and SET LIMITS on it.

      Note this is not a swipe at any single mom who does the best she can. But let us be honest a child is better off with two parents if possible. And we do now live in a society that glorifies single mothers in a way that makes us have more of them.

      • You are absolutely right. Boys need to wrestle. And that is completely discouraged in daycare all the way to grade school in the US.

        It’s true for dogs too. Many times (with my dog as well) people will take the puppies away from Mol way too early. The puppies don’t get enough “roughhousing” with their siblings. This can translate to a very aggressive adult dog or a dog who doesn’t get along with other dogs.

  4. Here’s another useful bit regarding 91% alcohol. For those who use catalytic burners like a Lampe Berger for disinfecting and freshening air in buildings, the “lamp oil” they sell you at an obscenely high price can be easily made with 91% alcohol with a few drops of essential oil mixed in it. That grade of alcohol also seems to work pretty well in an old camp stove I got that was made to burn denatured alcohol although the 91% rubbing alcohol is a lot more expensive.

  5. I have experimented with a DIY alcohol backpacking stove. It will function with 91% Isopropanol or methanol or ethanol. I have used it to cook breakfast on as opposed to microwave cooking. Almost as fast as microwave, faster than using the electric stove.
    70% and 50% isopropanol will not fuel it.
    It is made from an aluminum bottle.
    With a homemade press.

  6. Also, I LOVE what you had to say about Christmas. It has turned into something pretty ugly, IMO.

    I usually will get everyone something from their list but I am always sure to make them something as well. It gets me into the spirit of giving while spending the month of December making things for the people I love. This year I gave everyone a set of homemade herbal culinary salts. And I made all the men in my family knit hats. I feel like it can be pretty meaningless to get someone something mindlessly from their list with no real thought put into it, but when you create something with your hands, it is really made with thought and love.

  7. I don’t think that is the problem. I think a lot of people that go to university think they are smarter then those that don’t . In my experience a lot of things look good on paper, but will never work in the real world. I have experienced this first hand where I was told to do something a certain way only to be told to do it a different way a few Months later, or to do it the old way.

    I think life experiences can in some cases be more important. Their are a lot of people through out history that have done great things, but never went to university.

  8. Hey so there was an important mistake on the Isopropyl alcohol question!

    70% Isopropyl kills bacteria more efficiently than 90%. 70% is the goldilocks ratio that maximizes how much alcohol can pass through the cell membrane of the bacteria. Because it’s the alcohol INSIDE the bacteria that kills it. The higher you go above 70% the ‘harder’ it is for alcohol to penetrate the bacteria. A bacteria can survive in an environment with alcohol, so long as it doesn’t absorb any.

    • Yes, this was covered when I was in medical lab tech school (so we would disinfect our work areas properly), the higher alcohol ratios evaporate too fast to penetrate the cells.

  9. In Response to the lithium battery packs:

    First, everything Steve said about having a good battery and jumper cables are necessary. 100%, no arguement, completely agree.

    That being said, a couple months ago I bought a battery tender brand lithium jump pack. after stressing the battery in my daily driver 04 jetta (I think I was using the lights) it just went kaput and rarely started the car. I live in a very rural area, and the replacement for my interstate battery, still under warranty was nearly a week out. I bought the jump pack because I was using a battery and my jumper cables to start the car when I wasn’t at home. the jump pack was 75 dollars and has a flashlight and a usb charge port. after getting my battery replaced it has been used twice not counting being a flashlight and to charge my phone. once was a coworkers truck, the other was my old 6.9 diesel ford. no it didn’t jump it on its own, and I didn’t expect it to. I left the ignition on and both of its batteries were completely dead. i had my VW hooked up to it for 30 minutes with the cables before I got the engine to turn over slowly a couple times, I let it charge a couple more minutes to recover from the cranking attempt, then attached the jump pack to help out. It was just enough to get the diesel to fire (in near zero degree temps we had last week)

    I also see it being useful for small equipment such as my little tractor, lawn mower, and for instances when i’m working on something and just need a power source.

    Cure all? Not at all. But worth having.

  10. I you want less perdation of ducks from turtles you could actively trap em out using live traps or catch em hook and line but that can be hit an miss.

    Managing plant growth in a pond has always been a problem, either from string algae to duckweed to whatever, excess nutrients always cause problems with plant growth. That stuff sinking to the bottom of a pond or lake is always a challenge. Tilapia is one way to manage plant growth to using plants you can easily remove like water lettuce to consume nutrients is another. Good luck with your project.

  11. Bullying exists in the work place in more of a verbal abuse form. There are ways to deal with these things. Martial arts is about learning how to fight with techniques and not brute force. The Art of War is an ancient book that is still popular because it uses strategem, deception, and other methods. There are many books and approaches. Bullying is also psychological because the bully wants to make you feel bad about yourself. Many people are weak in this area and need to figure out how to overcome some of that. The bully is like your teacher or guru to help you learn how to overcome

    Dalai Lama: “In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.”

    • Surfivor I don’t agree a Bully is Never a teacher on how to overcome hardship. There is Nothing positive about being a Bully. A Bully is a weak small minded person that wants to be strong, but can only feel strong by tearing you down. To make You feel weak when in reality you are the strong one.

      The Bullys that attack your confidence sees your weakness. If we adults could help in some way to let our young see their strengths instead of only focusing on any weaknesses they may think they have. The young need to know they don’t need to be perfect just be who they are.

      Elders and other people that mean something to a child are the Teachers. A Bully is ONLY a test NEVER a teacher. If you can stand tall with your friends and say stop you show your inner strength and your outer strength in the form of your friends.

      Some weak people become Bullys because they were bullied so stand Tall and NEVER become one EVER.

  12. A bully is not it a teacher in the way that you describe a teacher. However God created the devil and God is in control. The devil is not there that you should follow him of course. However if you think a bully is a weak pathetic person, then perhaps you should feel sorry for him and have compassion. what I have said is not my own idea, but concepts found in Kabbalism and Buddhism. if you are unable to feel compassion in some circumstances then have compassion for yourself for that is natural as well. but I think you may have taken what I said too literally

  13. I don’t think that the Yale students that want to repeal the First Amendment are ignorant of the contents of the amendment. I think they simply want to remove any tool the conservatives use that limit “progress”. Conservatives do worship the Constitution and Liberals do see this as constricting their ability to “do good things”. Willing to throw out the baby with the bathwater.