Episode-1700- The Christmas Special for 2015 — 15 Comments

  1. Congrats on episode 1700, wow.
    Best wishes to you, family, and 9 Mile Farm. Merry Christmas!
    , from Montag 451 and family, thanks for all you do.

  2. The loneliest time of year. When you’ve stayed away from your family as much as possible since 18 because alcohol and violence aren’t your thing. And you don’t have any meaningful friendships yet because you’re in your transient twenties. Fuck.

    • Spend some time helping the needy. Volunteer at a shelter, a food bank or a place that feeds the homeless. One cure for loneliness is surrounding yourself with people. You can’t completely fill a void, but part full is better than completely empty.

    • I can empathize to some degree. When I was 18 I moved over 500 miles away from the rest of my family. I didn’t have the abuse and substance abuse issues in the mix, but the distance and isolation made the holidays pretty rough. May I ask what state you are located in?

    • When I got out of the army at 21, yep that young. I went home for about 2 weeks and everything was the same but me. I spent a few months walking the Appalachian trail to clean my head, tried going “home” again.

      My head was now mostly clear, my military programming mostly let go of, I was still different the place and the people and the family were not. I left.

      I went to Texas, I did have a room mate from the Army days, a good friend. This helped. But for a while I had no job, my car broke down and he worked second shift. I was on foot for about 3 months, mostly alone. I continued to sort out my life. In these days I was lonely quite a bit.

      I made a lot of friends, dated a lot, etc. as I got a job, my own place etc. But in that time holidays were different. I would hang with friends after hours and all but not be part of their family stuff, you just feel like an intruder.

      Even when my career picked up I still lived alone and about 40 miles from the friends I had finally made, so we hung on weekends, party holidays, etc. Again alone mostly for another two years.

      You know what? Best thing that ever happened. By the time I met Dorothy I was 26, I didn’t “need” anyone. Our relationship was built on a desire to be together not a need. No co-dependence which to me is the main killer of marriages.

      With her my career then took off like a rocket, I had someone to build it for rather than just myself. I can tell you now though I would not have realized it at the time when I was in my early 20s I wasn’t suited to be a mate for anyone, I was not developed enough as an individual man.

      My family sucked, and in many ways still does. My dad is a good man but he wasn’t much of a father until my mid teens and then only so much, hunting and what not. He worked 7 days a week from 6am till 8pm taking only Christmas and half of New Years Day off in almost 15 years. I grew up with no real male role model again till my mid teens. I was raised by my Grandmother and Grandfather more then a mom. My Granddad did what he could to be a role model but a boy wants an actual father.

      Shit just sucks at times! When my dad and I finally got things going, he and my mom divorced and it was ugly. She is a drug addict and really went nuts during this time, neither would leave the house. So I moved out on my own at 16 and it stayed that way until a few months before I left for the Army at 17. At that point I went to my other grandmothers to help her our as she was ill.

      In AIT (Army School after basic) I got a call that she had died of cancer, had to go home and to her funereal. That left me only my one grandfather on my dad’s side, he died 2 months before I got out, where this whole story started.

      Again all this hardship was building me up, making me strong, making me a man that would be a good father, a good grandfather.

      Not everyone needs such hardship to be shaped, to break a family cycle, but life offers you the OPPORTUNITY to do it if you need it!

      Find some friends, build a life, that is the best thing you can do. Likely people your age don’t interest you so make friends 5-10 years older, it takes a bit of effort but you find your extended family that way.

      Read books by Richard Bach and James Redfield too. Christmas is in many ways just a day that we put a meaning on. You are no more alone today than any other day, you just come into touch with it.

      Just know life only offers a crucible to those that need one, walk into it and come out stronger.

      • Thank you man. I know I’m on a good path in life, broken away from my toxic family, I have a business mentor in the guy I work for. I’m definitely farther along than most other 21 year olds. I know the struggle is worth it. I think God is setting me up for great things.

    • Hey man haven’t heard much from you lately. I was putting together this years episode and saw your comment and my response. Just hoping 2016 brought good things to you and that 2017 brings even better.