Episode-2542- Listener Calls for 10-31-19 — 4 Comments

  1. Re dementia,

    For the most part, Jack, I think you covered most. In my experience with my grandparents, I found that looking for lucid moments to express my concerns and then offer my help eventually paid off. I wish I could say it was that easy, but because of that conversation early on, the first time my grandmama got lost on her way to the grocery store, we never had to worry again.

    I’m not at all an expert on dementia, but I’ve been around it a lot between family and friends, and in my experience, planting the seed of the idea early may resonate when the time is right.

    I feel for anyone dealing with a loved one going through this, but look for any way you can to honor them with your actions.

  2. Jack,

    I went looking for the Berkey Water Filter App you mentioned today and I can’t find it in the app store. Found a blog post about it from 2014 and the link they referenced was dead.

    If you’re able to find it will you put a link in the show notes please?  Thanks!

  3. Driving issue is tough. My dad no longer drives. It took a while to get to that point.  First he would forget where he was or how to get home. We got him a cell phone. Issue is when he forgot (“sometimers” he called it) how to get home he also forgot how to use the cell phone.
    He got so he wanted someone to ride with him to make sure he was in the right lane.  He did ok going to places a few blocks away which was several stores and church.  But as things got worse, even that was no longer possible.  Last time I rode with him, he almost ran through a red light with oncoming cars.  I yelled stop and he did. Thanked me for not getting hysterical.  Later we explained that if he needed another driver with him to make sure he was driving safely then he no longer needed to be driving.  It was hard for him.
    Fortunately it was time to renew his license and he knew he could not safely drive to the license office and none of us would drive him there.  He got a letter saying he no longer had a license to drive, and that is kept where it can be found if he forgets.
    Having his own vehicles and having others drive him and my mom in them is still helpful to him.
    They have friends who still drive and they go out with them to dinner regularly, my dad paying, their friends driving.  That works well.
    My sister lives next door, just retired, often driving them where they need to go in their cars which they are most comfortable in.

  4. Regarding the dangerous driving habits of addled seniors, I became that addled senior. When I was younger I used to yell, “Get off the road, you moron!” Then I became the moron. I almost hit a taxi and a parked car. I took my own advice and got off the road.

    I miss driving. Once a week I’ll take the bus to my volunteer position as a jail chaplain. The rest of my time is spent here in front of the computer, listening to my audiobooks and podcasts. FYI, I have read over 350 titles this year. You can follow my reviews (Alex Shrugged) on Good Reads:

    My mother-in-law, now of blessed memory, hit a fire hydrant. We told her she could no longer drive a car. I strongly suggest that if you have a senior who is a danger on the road that you pull your balls out of you mother’s purse and tell them that they are no longer driving a car.

    Remember that seniors often cannot depend on their friends to drive them around. THEIR FRIENDS ARE HAVING THE SAME PROBLEM! Thus, your beloved senior may have to move in with you. You may be saving their lives in more ways than one. My mother-in-law’s doctor said that she would not live more than 2 years because her health was so bad.  After she moved in with us, she got balanced hot meals with real vegetables. She lived for over 12 years more. The doctor died. I’m not kidding. The doctor died before my mother-in-law. I believe she lived longer because we got her to her doctor’s appointments on time, made sure she took her medicine correctly, and made sure she ate good meals. Also she didn’t have to change light bulbs by herself by standing on chairs or the kitchen table.

    It may be time to gather up grandpa and grandma and take them home with you. Be the adult.

    My father got angry with me when I contradicted what he wanted to do. I said, “You can hit me if you want to, Dad, but we are doing it my way.” We did it my way. He didn’t hit me, but I really would have let him.

    Alex Shrugged