Episode-1734- Listener Calls for 2-18-16 — 25 Comments

  1. Re Jack’s tips on selling a house.

    I re-listened to his previous podcasts that detailed how to quickly sell a house. Followed the steps of researching the market and competition.
    Fixed my house up nicer than those in my price range.
    Came up with what I thought was a fair price in that market. Ended up learning I could get 10k more due to lack of inventory in my price range.
    Sold the house in 2 days. 2 days.

    I had an offer the same day I placed my add on For Sale By Owner – before I even had the pictures posted! 1st offer was crazy. Next day, I had an agent call me to view property that day with client. They made an offer that day, we closed in 30 days.

    One other bit of advice if you do for sale by owner. I didn’t pay the agent’s commission. The person buying the house hired the agent and I had them pay the agent’s commission. I also didn’t pay closing costs. The buyer rolled the closing costs into purchase price.

    Thank you Jack for the advice on how to sell a house quickly!

  2. Re: Jack’s home selling tips, I sold my home July of last year (when moving to TX), listed first week of May and under contract in under 20 days, there are nice homes in that neighborhood that are still for sale that listed before I did… His technique worked for me.

  3. Heh, in some ways it was pretty interesting attending a Private Elementary School. Somehow – even in the mid-nineties – the principle meted out discipline with a wooden paddle to the rear-end.

    It worked.

    • Violence begets violence, it doesn’t work! It causes kids to be smarter about how they abuse others.

      Frankly if any adult had ever hit my child more violence would have been the result, because I would have kicked the son of a fucking bitches teeth out.

      • So… are you saying you also disapprove of physical discipline at the home level? I definitely agree there have been a number of instances where it’s been misused/become abuse, but IMO if used with a gentle state of mind it’s a valuable tool in the tool belt. [Bring anger in and you’re all screwed up.]

        As for success or failure, I can tell you that it worked from personal experience. We didn’t *have* bullying. A bit of playful teasing here or there, sure, but anything bad enough to escalate into violence had the children sorted out, the problem children identified and disciplined and dealt with.

        I strongly suspect the way they got away with the method was by having the parents sign a waver in order to enroll the child. It was a private school after all. Hence any parent who enrolled their child would have consented to corporal punishment.

        • Yes I VERY much do disapprove because it is totally not necessary. Now when you say phyical, I know you mean hit, while some people I know and respect use this as discipline my hope is they will wake up to NOT needing it.

          Now did I use phyical discipline? Well yea, sure. Kid throws a phyical tantrum that could damage stuff, himself or others. Restraint is in order, hold them down, wait till they surrender to reality. You are not going out side, yes I am heads for door, again grab by the arm, walk to the room, close door, we will talk about this later.

          When you strike a child you are saying, hitting people weaker than you is okay sometimes. There is no way around it, go look at a child then look at your own face in a mirror and FUCKING think about that!

          As a parent we have the power, we have the tools, we have controls. One should only use violence as a last resort. Why hit when you can restrict? Why hit when you can call a time out? Why DAMAGE your relationship with you kids when you do not have to, finally to drive the point home, why risk your life?

          There was a LOT of anger in me in my teens, a lot and good reason for it, I spoke a tiny bit of it yesterday. I was hot headed, I got in a lot of fights and I was good at it. I think to be honest I stuck up for kids more because I liked fighting then to do the right thing. Let me tell you, there is a good chance had my parent or parents hit me in my childhood during those years before I got my shit together I may have very well killed them in their sleep.

          There was a lot of death and violence in my life at that age. I knew how to kill by 13 from hunting deer. I was smart as shit and I likely could have gotten away with it one way or another.

          Parents that hit children need to remember you are growing OLDER and they are going to grow stronger. Scary, it fing should be, THINK.

    • Corporal punishment is most certainly not the ideal way to handle children, but it may have a much worse rap than it deserves. However, it should not be the primary form on consequence. Hey, Adderall helps inattentive kids, but that does not mean its the best way to address it and what are the side effects? There are consequence structures out there that can be effective in managing behavioral issues in children. If anyone would like any ideas I would be very willing to share, perhaps even on another show. However, the key is the implementation of the consequence – consistency, consistency, consistency. Your principal was effective on this point, he was likely consistent and the side effects were fear and possibly an increase in similar violence from others. It is very difficult to be consistent as parents with our children because they are little self-centered manipulative and creative humans who are trying to fulfill their desires. So they change their tactics when they meet a roadblock. In fact, we as parents want to see this. Children that do this will be successful in life as they will alter their approach in order to get something done. Corporal Punishment teaches that it is wrong to be creative and to stand up to authority. Standing up to authority can be a desirable trait, it just has to be done in appropriate ways.

    • I was spanked 4 times that I can recall and each time I deserved it. Especially the last one. That said, spanking is not the solution for all. Children are different. My first son didn’t care, you could spank him till your arm was sore and it made no difference, so we found that withdrawing privileges worked best with him. Second son was just the opposite, didn’t care about privilege but a spanking was humiliating and served it’s purpose. One size does NOT fit all.

      • If you think any form and I mean ANY form of actual violence against your child is the best solution you have not found the best solution. I will leave it at that. Please read my prior comments on it. They are 100% truthful.

  4. Jack,
    I did not expect you to read my comment on the show, but I’m glad you did. It made me see that my problem with you and Trevor is simply a misunderstanding. I am coming from the perspective of “how do we stop the bully?”, while you and Trevor are coming from the angle of “how do we help the victim?”.

    Now that I see that, your way makes more sense. It’s easier to teach a person once to deal with a bully, instead of stopping every bully out there. I don’t know why I didnt see this when I listened to the show, but since you read my comment and your response on the air it became clear to me that we were after different goals. Both well-intentioned btw. I thought that the show would be about how to stop the bully, but you guys were trying to keep the victim from incurring emotional damage – and now that I see that I have to admit that counseling and summer with grandpa are totally viable solutions. While they don’t keep the bully from beating your ass, they do help you deal with that so you don’t commit suicide – I see that now.

    That’s why I kept saying that Trevor offered no real solution – he wasnt offering a way to stop the bully – he was offering a solution for the emotional well being of the victim. I get it now.

    I got a totally different impression from your reply to my comment when I heard you read it on the air. It sounded hostile to me in text, but when I heard you read it, it sounded much more reasonable. I think its hard to convey emotion thru text, and I think some of the meaning is lost that way. Conversely, my comment sounded hostile on the air which was not as I intended in writing. I was not trying to demean Trevors profession, I meant my jabs at him being a shrink in a much friendlier way – like a couple guys ripping on each other over a few beers – Or asking a car salesman “don’t you want to sell me some undercoating?” Unfortunately that is hard to convey in text. I will go back to my original comment and apologize to Trevor. I did not mean to sound like an asshole, and I am sorry for raising your blood pressure.

    Since you read my original comment on the air, I feel the need to redeem myself so can you please read this response as well? I don’t need the bad karma of 50K TSP listeners thinking “Mike in WV is a douchebag”. 😀

    • Text is the lowest form of communications.

      There is NO SOLUTION to stop every bully, it doesn’t exist. What we do is deal with the situations one at a time and yes our primary concern if for victims. That often includes bullies too.

      The people I know that were bullies in school, have the most sad ass pathetic lives today, a few of them are dead, keep in mind I am like 44.

      One guy I went to school with is gay as they come, he was the kid I put the skunk piss in the lockers of the two guys fing with him. He is in LA now from what I saw on Facebook, owns a huge art firm with Hollywood clients, looks like he is worth a fortune.

      The two guys one is working swing shift at a concrete plant, the other is living on disability (likely faking it) in project housing. Nice huh?

      I am sure taking the pressure off him helped him, wish I would have known enough to help the other two guys instead of just attacking them back then.

      If there was a macro solution, trust me, I’d be on it. There are quite a few people from my class dead today, way too many for our age.

      I had a very close friend in school but never really hung out with him out side of school. He was picked on a lot, I would always stick up for him. This stuff seemed kind of minor and he had a lot of friends, he was the 50-50 type, 50% loved him, 50% didn’t like him. He seemed fine though. There were plenty of people that had his back.

      Said good bye to him the end of our junior year, talked about graduating when we came back. Two days before the first day of my senior year, my dad asked, did you know a guy named Clint in school, I responded yea, why?

      He was in the paper, in the obituaries. We found out later he had put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. Add that to my buddy’s son (ironic they were both named Clint) and this is very personal for me.

    • @Mike –
      I find an emoticon after a sentence that can be read with more than one tone helps sometimes. 😉

    • Jack, I am glad that you will read Mike in WV’s apology. This is the type of action we need more of in our world and his willingness to change his perception, hear it again and offer apologies is something that should be modeled to whomever will hear it. Thank you for using your show time on Thursday for this matter and likely again on Friday.

  5. John form WV,
    I’m glad to hear you are back and I look forward to hearing from you in the future. I was one of the many that left some encouragement when you said you were going for help. Know that we are still rooting for you and pulling for you. Great job and continue to walk the good path.

  6. The tax free exchange is section 1031
    If you search 1031 exchange it will come up. If you are going to use it be sure to read the requirements when you begin the process of selling because there are defined items that need to be addressed for the purchase of your next house in order to keep it tax free.

  7. John from WV,

    Great to hear you are doing well, I have faith in you that you can stay sober! Always good to hear your voice on tsp.

  8. John from WV, welcome back man and thanks for the update. Yeah, it really is like a family here, you’re one of us, and I’m proud to see one of us get up and deal with a problem the way you did. God bless, and keep on the path brother. We’ll be here if you ever need us.

  9. Re: Jack’s rental info
    First – the “roll over” is a 1031 exchange.

    You nailed the rental model / key components to sustainable / passive investment success. My path was a little different, but the key components of leverage, mitigating risk across multiple tenants, etc enabled me to:
    – Started in 2000, grew from initial investment to leave corporate job in 2004 to start a different business.
    – Ebbed and flowed until now – I have downsized to 4 houses with a total of 15 rental units.
    – They pay 30k per year in equity right now, cover all expenses and spin a little cash.

    Tips (as taught by an old timer and learned the hard way):
    – Buy in a good neighborhood even if it costs a little more. Follow up on late rent –
    Bad neighborhood /tenant scenario: They have to pay you and many other bills. Tomorrow they’re facing having their cell phone shut off and they know they can delay you for weeks. They’ll work you over and you’ll want to dump the house.
    Good neighborhood / tenant scenario: They are “upwardly mobile” and they care about their credit record / reputation. They’ll find a way. I have had rent show up from grandma in Wisconsin.
    – Split out utilities (apartments) or you’ll find the heat cranked and windows open in January.
    – Only buy a house that pays to function as a business, which means the house pays for people to do all the work. I am not a midnight plumber.
    – Find a solid rental agent and handyman.***
    – Go vacant for a month before taking a risk.
    – Rent is due on the 1st, late on the 2nd, if they are a habitually bad tenant, eviction begins on the 3rd. If they get behind, their lives are often not about to get straightened on my time table. They’ll get further and further behind. It’s actually a caring act to keep them on the straight and narrow.
    – This is a “get rich slow” model. Slow growth is good growth.

  10. Dear John in WV,
    I hope we can be a support to you and please continue to share your experience with us.
    God bless on a speedy recovery

  11. John in WV,

    Keep up the great work, and congratulations on your 33 days sober. Thank you for sending in your update.

  12. On sharing food in an emergency.. I heard an analogy that, I think, works here too:

    When the oxygen masks fall down from the ceiling, you put your own mask on first before assisting others….

  13. John from WV,

    Welcome back!!! Just want to let you know, it was great to hear your voice again on the podcast and to hear of your successful battle. I’m so thankful you found such wonderful support here when you needed and so thankful you reached out for it when you did. I know the war is not yet won, but I have a lot of respect for you for doing what you are doing to overcome this! Hang in there, continue to reach out to this community/family. Do NOT allow that addiction to isolate you from this strength you have. I know this is a long war, and I think many in this community understand that as well. You are taking back your freedom and from what I’ve seen and heard that is a lot of what we do. I think I can speak for at least the majority of us when I say, please know, we aren’t going anywhere and you have a place here. We’re here for ya brother. Keep hoeing that row and reach out to us whenever you need a hand with a stretch of ground. We understand hoeing rows brother. This is phase of your life and as some say, this too shall pass.