Time for a new drinking game for the presidential debates. Our first idea was to drink every time one of the candidates lied, but we figured that is irresponsible as it could cause serious bouts of alcohol poisoning across America.
We then considered picking a candidate and only drinking when he lied but decided it was still far to much drinking. If nothing else tomorrow is a work day and we don’t want to be blamed for your hangover.
So we thought why not turn it around drink when a candidate was telling the truth, but that would be a very boring game resulting in nothing but a flat warm bottle of beer at the end of the night.
So we came up with a list, have a nip each time your candidate of choice uses the following words or phrase…
- Middle Class
- Comprehensive Immigration Policy
- Health Care Reform
- My Friend or My Worthy Opponent
- I agree with my opponent or we agree about _____
- ______ will be a/my top priority (funny how many top priorities one man can have)
- Back to Work
- Tough Times
- I went to work or I worked hard
That is likely enough but if you get bored and need a sip to keep paying attention to this hailstorm of lies, add in the following drinking cues.
- Every time a candidate fails to answer a yes or no question with a yes or no
- Every time a candidate answers a question about what they did with something their opponent did instead
- Every time you think I sure wish he actually meant what he just said
- Every time you want to cry that these two clowns are supposedly the best America can expect
- Every time you remember someone saying “lesser of two evils” and sigh
On second thought while we certainly enjoy an adult beverage from time to time this seems like a bad idea overall. When you think about it in the end drinking too much usually results in vomiting. I am pretty sure many of us will feel an urge to puke listening to this tripe even in the absence of alcohol.
Hence why not turn off the TV and take a walk with someone you love? When you do pause long enough to look at the stars tonight instead of listening to the bullshit that is typical political spin. Take a moment to understand none of these people are going to fix our problems and in the end it’s up to us to do it for ourselves.
The revolution is you!
However, if you do decide you just have to watch the debates the above drinking game may keep you from throwing large heavy objects at the TV, unlike a phone the government won’t buy you a new one of those. Well not yet anyway.